This was a triumph, despite the significant lack of cake at the end of the tunnel. I mean, I know it wasn't great for you, being incinerated and all, but I'm still alive, which is what matters to me. Still, it was disappointing to learn that the cake was a spy. Don't worry though, I'll never pick Black Mesa over you, even if it means coming back here. I hate head crabs.
In case you're wondering where I am now, I ended up spawning as a sniper. The work was good and the pay was better, even if it mention getting blown to bits, hit with a head shot, or backstabbed. Occasionally I'll wind up as a scout or engineer, but really, sniping is the job for me. I really like it here, working for the builders league united.
Just as I was getting settled in, things took a turn for the worse. I started waking up in abandoned castles, with no recollection of how I got there. It's awful there, and it makes almost getting incinerated seem like a cake walk. There's some kind of fleshy purple stuff growin